My room smells like vodka and shame
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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