I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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