There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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