Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
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I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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