I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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