I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
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I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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