Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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