I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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