the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize