Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize