Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He felt like a one man threesome
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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