Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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