i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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