i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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