I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize