Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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