She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
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PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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