there's paper in my vomit.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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