You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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