6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize