he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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