Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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