ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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