If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize