and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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