i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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