wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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