here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize