Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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