he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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