she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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