I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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