Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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