just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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