I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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