spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize