Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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