What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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