sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize