I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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