The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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