Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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