They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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