Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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