so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize