My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize