I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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