I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize