I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize