It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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